Mother Ache™— Seven Keyes to Alchemizing Your Experience of Maternal Love

1. Awareness – often the mother ache is an unconscious and yet very powerful voice inside us that impacts all aspects of our lives. It’s a part of our DNA and energetically it’s so familiar that we don’t recognize it as a wound that needs healing within, we think it is who we are. Our experience is real, and the unhealed pain resides in our bodies and activates as triggers causing us to be reactive and disconnected to our intuition and creativity.

2. Dis-Identification - We must learn to identify the voices that speak to us internally that are not real and come from our early years. We all have these ancient scripts that dwell in our subconscious minds, and we adopted from our external reality. “I’m so stupid” “I can’t do anything right” “I’m lazy” whatever your script is you must start to alchemize it with compassion. Ask yourself when did I first adopt this script? Is it true? How can I reframe this with compassion. It’s important not to judge these voices but to have quiet and kind dialogue. Instead of “I’m so lazy” for instance, reframe it to “I’m actually not lazy but I do get overwhelmed and shut down at times and that’s okay…”

3. Acknowledge – when we realize our mother is her own person and had her own wounds and trauma that affected her ability to connect and attune to us it can take the edge off our anger and hurt. Knowing that she was dealing with her own subconscious patterns, adaptations, and beliefs that were a result of her own childhood experience and relationship with her own mother and that whatever hurt, or harm was passed down to us was not personal to us but caused by her unhealed life experience. Acknowledging her childhood experience without judgment and keeping it in mind is an important key on this journey.

4. Acceptance — we all have adaptations that we have developed to avoid the pain of the mother wound. These adaptations were survival tools when we were small and could not properly process our experiences real time. However, these adaptations are of the mind and do not serve us well in terms of becoming connected with our own true selves, our intuition and creativity. The adaptations are basically pain avoidance tools and we need to put them down, hopefully with help and support, and feel that pain, anger, grief, sorrow that we hold in our bodies. We accept these feelings, allow them to express and we then release them. Accepting the bad, scary, hard feelings without judgment is the key to healing them.

5. Understanding and Re-Mothering our Inner Child — we can find a direct pathway to our early experiences in the body. If we can feel the sensations in the body, we can then meet the needs of our inner child who still resides within each of us. This inner child might have experienced fear, anger, hurt, abandonment and was unable to process it and so she still lives in that time, and this impacts us in the present. To meet, listen to and hold the inner child is an important key in healing our mother wound.

6. Compassion—compassion is only available to us when we can access our heart center, which means being in attunement with our bodies, being embodied. To access true compassion, we must be able to feel our grief, anger and fear that have anchored themselves in our bodies, with compassion and move through them. When we do this, we can then access, hold and embody true compassion for our experience and that of the women who came before us. We are then able to find compassion for ourselves through connection to the eternal love that is our birthright. As we are able to hold and integrate our experiences and the experiences of our maternal lineage, we are then able to move into presence where we can experience the love and compassion of the Divine Mother— who is infinite grace and who has always been holding us in her unconditional love and compassionate understanding.

7. Creativity—as we heal and reframe our experience of our internal world by alchemizing our mother ache, we can access our intuition and creativity. We no longer feel stuck and have the confidence to explore as our creative energies are unburdened by the past. Our lives become our own and we are willing to take chances, try new things, explore new possibilities, take risks as we learn to set appropriate boundaries, and let go of what no longer serves.

As I am writing this, I have the thought that the key to all of these keys is to ask for help and support along the way, on this most sacred journey home to you. Healing the unwritten maternal story that is a part of our ancestral lineage is a unique journey home to self - and I would be honored to be your sacred guide and help you understand and alchemize into healing and wholeness. I offer a 20 minute complimentary consultation or if you ant to dive right in, a 90-minute initial exploration session.